SYM, according to Tyler, “is in the bandage-removing business. It’s not sensational work and it challenges our presuppositions about ministry being tidy, convenient and pretty. But the truth is that the healing has a mess that comes along with it.”
This messy, bandage-removing job is one of being in relationship with young people who are considered throwaways by a large part of society. They are kids and young adults, ages 13-23, who, for the most part, have been abused or neglected by the adults in their lives. Some of them abuse drugs and alcohol, suffer from mental illness, and have what might politely be called “trust issues.”
The four staff members of SYM walk a fine line between being friends and advocates.
The real question, according to Tyler, “is how do I love this youth well? Which is to say how do I love him long term? Because short-term love is not enough for a youth who has had 15 foster care placements.”
“It gets a little awkward when they’ve had bad experiences with authority, when they feel they want to be their own boss. They say, ‘Listen, I’ve never had anyone taking care of me. I’m not going to start now.’”
But after he’s developed a relationship with a young person, there are moments when he has to speak up. “I say, ‘I care for you. What we’re going to do is have a real conversation about your life and how to make it better. Is that cool?’ That’s not always appreciated but I’m compelled to do it.”
SYM is part of a coalition of nonprofit agencies, called University District Service Providers Alliance, that works together to form a safety net for homeless youth in the U-District. The services provided include shelter, food programs, health services, case management and even art programs, among others.
UPC supports SYM, which is housed on its north campus, by providing SYM’s infrastructure — phones, computers, office space and space in the church for its drop-in ministry — and $1,250 per month for expenses. In addition, about 15 percent of SYM’s $325,000 budget is met through individual gifts given through UPC, according to Executive Director Shelly Smith.
A youth’s introduction to SYM is usually through its Drop-in Center, which runs four days a week. On Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Friday afternoons, homeless youth can eat snacks, do laundry and take care of hygiene needs, including showering. There’s also time to interact with staff and volunteers.
Among youth on the streets, “we’re the Christian shelter and they know that we’re in UPC,” says Tyler. “They’re coming into the Drop-in Center with a big cross over the door. Not literally, but that’s how they view it. So, everything we do is interpreted as ‘This is what the Christian people are doing.’ That opportunity is an honor for us. And it’s a cool silent witness that happens.”
Although drop-in is the most visible part of their ministry, SYM’s services to youth also include activities and classes that promote life-skills development, advocacy and referral services and maybe most important, mentoring and case management. Through September, the agency has already served 590 youth.
In addition, this year SYM received a grant which is allowing Tyler and Case Manager Lindsey Nutting to each work extensively with 15 youth. They make youth accountable for goals they’ve set to move away from street life as well as celebrate with them in the large and small victories that happen along the way.
“Getting someone to make an appointment, for me, is a success,” says Lindsey.
Getting a state identification card is one of the first steps toward applying for a job for many youth. In Washington state, five pieces of identification are required for a minor to get a card without a parent. Lindsey works with youth to find birth certificates and other documents that can be used for this purpose. Receiving an ID card is cause for celebration — for the person receiving the card and the staff.
“Taking joy in the small things” is one of the ways Lindsey copes with what can be a stressful job. That, plus a sense of humor and community.
“Community is the most important thing,” she says. “Working with a staff that’s supportive is important.
“Also the realization that touching someone’s life doesn’t always have to end up with the ultimate goal of the picture-perfect American Dream,” she says.
In fact, Lindsey and Tyler both say that material success is not what they are pushing youth toward.
“We have to be careful about our assumptions of what success is,” says Tyler. “It’s not a job, a place, a car and a significant other. What we really want for our youth is the hope-filled, lively, loyal, caring, good hearted, real life that Jesus came to bring. And many of our youth are closer to that than you’d believe. The rest is about physical stability and we work hard on that, too.”
Rachel, a vibrant 22-year-old single mom, was on the streets in the U-District for more than three years, and has developed close friendships at SYM. When she was on the streets, she slept in squats (abandoned houses), used drugs (methamphetamines, cocaine and marijuana) and slept with many men to support her drug habit. She was arrested numerous times for drugs, fraud and assault, among other charges. It was finding out she was pregnant that gave her the incentive to start making changes.
Today, she lives in low-income housing in the U-District with her 2½-year-old daughter. Though she struggles with employment and health issues, she lives a more stable lifestyle.
“I used to run around wild before I had my daughter because I had that freedom, but now that I’m a single mom, I have responsibilities and not as much freedom. I take care of everything — clean the house, take care of my daughter, go out and have mini-trips — show her things. It’s fun,” she says. “I’ve settled down, I guess you could put it that way. I’ve learned to be a responsible person.”
Rachel left home at 17. Her family belonged to a church that she says abused women and children. Rebelling against the teachings of the church and acting out drove a deep wedge between her and her family until she felt forced to leave.
Since her first day in the U-District, she started coming to SYM’s Drop-in Center, almost every day that it was open — mostly because food was available and she could expect to see friends there. She developed bonds with Tyler and a former long-time SYM volunteer whom she still sees. Later, she got to know Lindsey.
Recently, a phone call from her daughter’s father, set up through a state agency, was more than she could handle. It was obvious he was still using drugs and she knew that she had to give up her dream of him “getting clean” and becoming part of their lives.
“I cried pretty hard for almost an hour,” says Rachel. “Then Lindsey came over and sat there and just rubbed my back and helped me get calmed through it. It was hard yesterday. I’ll be honest. I’m still kind of recuperating,” she said the next day.
What is it about her friends at SYM that draw her to them? “They’re there, that’s really what it is. They listen and they hear you,” she says.
One of the biggest misconceptions about homeless youth is that somehow they’ve chosen their lifestyle and want to continue in it, says Tyler. Homeless youth are “almost exclusively from abusive homes,” he notes. “The mind-blowing thing is that, often times, by leaving, a youth has made a good decision in getting out of a dangerous place.”
Rachel, someone who’s experienced that life, says, “It’s really hard being on the streets because when you want to get your life together you can’t. You can’t get a good job. It’s hard to get out of the system and stay away from people who still make wrong decisions. It’s just really difficult. And people just don’t understand that.”
What would Tyler ask the UPC congregation for, if he had the opportunity? “I’d ask people to have the patience for the ministry. We are working hard to represent Jesus as we do something that is akin to physical therapy on young hearts that have forgotten how to beat. We’ve found that many folks don’t have time to slow down for a ministry like ours. The crisis is profound. But the good news is that God can heal it. The work is very labor intensive, day in and day out. So I think I’d ask for some big congregation-wide patience and prayer for us.”
The homeless: So, what can you do about it?
The issue of youth homelessness is complex and those who work with homeless youth say there are no quick solutions.
Should you give money or food to someone on the street? The answer is maybe. When youth ask for money (they call it spanging or spare changing), you can decide to give or not give. Whatever your answer, according to Tyler Bauer, ministry coordinator at Street Youth Ministries (SYM), youth report that they appreciate it when a passerby looks them in the eye and answers them in a direct way. That sometimes seems a bit intimidating because street youth will sometimes then look at you as a target – someone who might be willing to give more.
Knowing a little bit about the resources in the area is helpful. Maybe directing them to the SYM Drop-in Center. Or knowing where food is served to homeless in the U-District. Knowing what’s available in the area can give confidence “enough to feel like you’re not being a horrible person because you didn’t give someone $2 and a hamburger,” says Tyler.
If you feel called to get more involved, SYM is always looking for adults, 20 or older, to join the ranks of its 35-40 volunteers, either to work with youth during drop-in times or to work behind the scenes providing food, organizing events or working in the office. Rowena Harper, SYM’s development and volunteer manager, says volunteers of all ages have something to contribute, from the energy of college students to the life experience of those in their 40s and 50s.
SYM also appreciates financial support, either through individual giving or support of the special events that it sponsors throughout the year. A fundraising breakfast for friends and members of UPC will be held on Saturday, March 31, in Calvin Lounge, offering an opportunity to hear a homeless young person speak. The goal is to raise $15,000.
For more information about supporting SYM financially or as a volunteer, contact Rowena at UPC at rowenah@upc.org, or 206/524-7301, ext. 111.
This article is from the November/December, 2007 issue of The UPC Times.